July282014

lokiarmygeneral:

A headache so strong you can sense Lord Voldemort.

(via sarcastiphilia)

12AM

(Source: harrypotterdailly, via wyobelle)

12AM
orgasmic-humor:

This is so accurate it hurts

orgasmic-humor:

This is so accurate it hurts

(Source: orgasmc-humor, via wyobelle)

12AM

upsettingshorts:

camharr:

deducingtheworldaroundme:

i-am-the—dragons-daughter:

brienneofthrace:

BEST THING EVER

TYWIN LANNISTER READING 50 SHADES OF GRAY IS WHAT THE UNIVERSE NEEDS MOST

Whenever I feel a little down, I go watch this video.

We live in an age of wonders.

video

(via wyobelle)

12AM
senpai-baemax:


sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

Year 18 please DONT Leave yOU lilSHIt ILY

senpai-baemax:

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

Year 18 please DONT Leave yOU lilSHIt ILY

(via wyobelle)

12AM
forgotteninferno:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

Alright so that’s one large three topping pizza with bacon, pepperoni, mushroom, and extra cheese. A 2 liter of sunkist. And one to the head with two to the chest on the side for a mister… Beiber. Alright that’ll be $48.57, you’re pizza and confirmation of kill should arrive in about thirty to forty five minutes. Thanks for choosing Pizza Hit.

forgotteninferno:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

Alright so that’s one large three topping pizza with bacon, pepperoni, mushroom, and extra cheese. A 2 liter of sunkist. And one to the head with two to the chest on the side for a mister… Beiber. Alright that’ll be $48.57, you’re pizza and confirmation of kill should arrive in about thirty to forty five minutes. Thanks for choosing Pizza Hit.

(via wyobelle)

12AM
July232014

urtube:

taze-that-chicken:

urtube:

It’s so fucked when you lose your glasses like you need them to see so how are you supposed to look for them cause you can’t see shit

you do realize that people don’t turn blind when they don’t have glasses on right? Everything is just a little blurry

Yes thank you I’ve been wearing glasses for 10 years I know how it is when I can’t find mine which is why I made this post

(via sarcastiphilia)

5PM

fightblr:

flaming-scrotum:

muggleland:

the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings

image

image

fashion

Now is the time to reblog this.
I’ve been awaiting this picture.

(via wyobelle)

5PM

revivi:

siksta:

#Fun fact: We were asked to scream when running out of the gala #but none of us knew much german #so a lot of people were screaming the only German things they knew #Wiener Schnitzel #Oktoberfest #Schadenfreude

Omg, Revvi.  Are you serious? LMAO

100% serious. The three I tagged were the most common, but there was a few  ”kindergarten”s here and there as well. One girl really did know German, and she was utterly baffled by what was going on. 

(via wyobelle)

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